Personal Selling

The always hilarious Diego posted this fabulous set of analogies in his blog to describe different principles of marketing, originally taken from this blog. In honoring the spirit of personal selling, I would like to kick this dead horse some more.

Let's restate the original premise: You see a gorgeous girl at a party; you are rich, and you want her to marry you...

Step 1: Generate and Qualify Leads

She's gorgeous, OK? That's all the qualifications required to be considered a potential wife. Up to this day, she is the most gorgeous girl you have ever met, and you are convinced that she will remain to be the most gorgeous girl you will ever meet. 'Nuff said.

Step 2: Preapproach

What are your qualifications? Oh, right, you are rich, filthy rich to be exact. What kind of gorgeous woman doesn't want a man with money? Think about it. Breakfast in Moscow; take a plan to Paris; lunch, then attend a fashion show; buy some expensive haute couture; fly to Barcelona for dinner, and enjoy the Mediterranean sunset in style. Yep, life is beautiful with lots of money available.

Step 3: Sales presentation and overcoming reservations

Go up to her and propose. Yep, it is just that simple. There is no such thing as obstacles. Resistance is futile. Who could resist a man with money (and no shame)? Okay, so she's taller than you. No problem, it worked for TOM CRUISE. And you may not be the best looking dude around. Plastic surgery can fix that. That's right, money makes the world go around. That is all the justification you need to ask her hand in marriage.

Step 4: Closing the sale

Get her drunk! Get her to VEGAS! And before she wakes up next morning, get her married, The Hangover style! Remember, she doesn't have to remember that she said "I DO",

Step 5: Follow-Up

As they say, "It ain't over till it's over." How do you make sure that it's really over? Make sure you get her PREGNANT while she is drunk and had said "I do". Once you get a baby out of her, there is no going back.

Hey, this is marketing related, right?